Dreams, anxiety, aspiration & the desire to "have it all"
“I just don't know if any of its really worth it tbh”
Ciao!
Agenda for today’s letter: a deep dive into my recent piece for Vogue Aus, exploring our endless desires and aspirations, the anxiety that ensues, our culture’s “founder” obsession and whether the constant chase is really worth it.
I feel like time is moving so quickly these days, it’s hard to keep up. It’s my final fortnight in London before I’m off to Australia to skip the UK’s grey winter months.
It’s been filled with lunches (Canteen), dinners (Wani Tzuki, The Hero, 40 Greek Street) and events (Fitzrovia Quarter’s pop-up art gallery, etc.). And the calendar doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. It’s a fun change of pace to be out and about for a living. But also, like, how does anyone find time to work out, sleep, laze about, do nothing?
In other news, I recently wrote for Vogue Australia about a topic I feel many of us are internally navigating. Exploring whether our big dreams are to blame for our big anxieties.
If you haven’t read the piece, I do recommend it. It explores big themes like what “success” looks like in a world that’s promised us we can “be and do anything”? About whether our culture’s obsession with ambition and manifestation is helping us or harming us? About where the line sits between aspiration and contentment? All very Office-coded.
As is customary with an editorial feature, I spoke to many women for the piece – a mixture of psychologists, manifestation experts and gorgeous humans like you and me.
There was so much good stuff that I couldn’t include because, you know, word count. So, I thought this letter was the perfect space to dive deeper into these themes and bring light what so many of us are feeling inside but, perhaps, don’t have the space to express.
Let’s get into things, shall we?
The culture of “anything is possible” has empowered many of us…
“I think that mindset has propelled me forward. It helped me take big leaps, step outside of my comfort zone, and be risky at times.”
— Emily Stribley, restaurateur & business owner, 30
“I co-founded my first business, Willow & Blake, when I was 21, and Frank Body when I was 23. That sense of naive optimism served me well, and I see it now in many young founders. It’s both a blessing and a curse to not truly know what you’re in for.”
— Erika Geraerts, founder of Fluff Casual Cosmetics
“I’ve long felt like a recipient of ‘lucky girl syndrome’. I have always felt ‘lucky’, where I’ve found work easily, landed dream jobs, had amazing opportunities happen which I’ve put down to ‘luck’. Truthfully, these things have come from hard work and ambition, but phenomenons like ‘Lucky Girl Syndrome’ can make us forget about the work involved in achieving our dreams.”
— Tess Kent, comms manager, 26
“That message shaped me a lot, and it fuelled my younger self more than I realised. I don’t regret having that drive; it taught me where the emptiness lived.”
— Chloe Naughton, fashion consultant
Many of us feel overwhelmed by the pressure of being able to “do and be anything”…
“It is super overwhelming. There are so many choices nowadays.”
— Rachel Tobi, brand & marketing manager, 29
“It’s like a drug. It’s the adrenaline that you get hooked on and can just ride on. It’s endless. You set your own boundaries. You make your own rules. So, it’s like, how far do you want to take this?”
— Emily, restaurateur & business owner, 30
“The weight of everyone’s belief in me to ‘be anything’ really warped my perception of what I wanted to be.”
— Tess, comms manager, 26
When you believe you can “do anything,” you can also believe it’s your fault if you can’t keep up, if you constantly burn out, or if you want something different.”
— Chloe, fashion consultant
Social media has distorted our sense of what’s realistic. We only see the outcomes, and comparison makes everything feel urgent…
“I was lucky to grow up with a father who told me I could do anything, and a mother who added, only if you work hard for it. TikTok culture, or at least the echo chamber of it, often forgets that second part.”
— Erika, founder, Fluff Casual Cosmetics
“I think it’s impacted me negatively. There’s a reality at the end of the day. That’s kind of hitting me in the face at the moment. I mean, you can get there, but it’s a fuckload of hard work and discipline. I just don’t think people are prepared for it. Me being one of them.”
— Emily, restaurateur & business owner, 30
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